Otherworldly Evil Monarch

"Hahaha..." Everyone who witnessed this funny and extremely strange scene couldn’t help but laugh heartily. Murong Qian Jun had come to taunt Jun Mi Xie’s debauchee like behavior. But, he was smiling through his running nose and eyes as well. In fact, he held his stomach the whole time.

The vicinity was brimming with great and experienced men. They had all been married, and knew what Jun Mo Xie’s remark and gestures meant. Moreover, this kind of vulgarity had been rather common throughout their military life. However, this sudden act by Jun Mo Xie had unexpectedly been rather funny.

Even the battlefield-commanders couldn’t help the corners of their mouth draw into a smile. And then, their mouths opened as they burst out into laughter. They laughed loudly at first. Then, they realized that it was improper to do so. So, they tried to restrain themselves. However, they soon realized that it was no use. So, they started to laugh in an unrestrained manner.

However, Murong Qian Jun soon found himself in confusion since he was unaware of the real joke. The Murong Family’s laughing stock had merely felt an unbearable pain on his head, but didn’t know anything about the ‘unbridled transformation’ that had taken place on it. He couldn’t help but get angry as he asked, "Is this that funny? He has attacked a fellow soldier inside the army camp. It could be said that he has committed a grave crime! This Young Master... this General demands that a report of this matter goes to the Commander-in-Chief so that Jun Mo Xie gets severe punishment! Hey! What’re you laughing at? What’s so funny?"

The lone pen*s-like lump on his head had started to glitter bright-red in the sunlight. In fact, it had expanded, and had gained more strength. Moreover, the blood that surged upwards through his head which made ‘it’ seem even more sinister and towering as he seemingly got angrier. The lump had transformed the man’s ‘elegant’ face in its entirety. He spoke in a very serious tone, but the effect became increasingly comical.

He had asked everyone to restrain themselves. But, they weren’t able to change their outer appearance, and continued to laugh. Everyone held their bellies as they started to roll around on the ground, "Ah! This is extremely funny! I will die! Kindly forgive me. Hahaha..."

Jun Wu Yi and the other high-ranking officers hurriedly arrived after they received the news of this event. They became extremely angry for a moment after they saw the disturbance. However, they then saw that peculiar lump on Murong Qian Jun’s head, and felt like bursting out into laughter. However, they suddenly remembered that it wasn’t proper to laugh in this situation. So, they quickly restrained themselves. But, they were unable to make it work, and their smiling expressions still rose to the surface. Soon, everyone started to choke in attempts to restrain themselves. Even the constantly solemn Commander Jun wasn’t an exception.

Jun Mo Xie wasn’t going to have a lucky escape. He was punished again. Commander Jun was extremely angry. He nearly had the little beast imprisoned.

[This is too much trouble. What can we do in this matter?]

[This is the ‘legendary’ trouble-spreading evil spirit!]

However, the trouble-spreading evil spirit clearly wasn’t done yet. This was because the event still hadn’t concluded.

Two sides collided that very same evening after the encampment had been set up. The Murong Family’s Guards were out to avenge their Young Master. So, they clashed with Jun Mo Xie’s two-hundred-and-fifty men.

Jun Mo Xie was helpless as far as this figure of merely 250 was concerned. He would’ve been happier if even one more man would’ve been able to join. However, his men had sustained severe injuries in their previous assignment. So, four of his men were unable to join them. However, the remaining 250 men weren’t hindered by the condition of their injuries, and were fit to accompany him. Therefore, he had ordered them to enlist in the military for the glory and honor. However, Jun Mo Xie was depressed that they weren’t able to train properly because of the army’s routine.

[I guess I’ll only have to make do with these 250. Well, it’s 250 plus me. So, that makes it 251. This will drive this Young Master Mad. We should each grab a person’s leg and break it. But, that doesn’t sound right ah. It would be pretty stupid if we break only one leg each ah. We should at least break two legs each. That’s not enough either ah... After all, it’s 251 of us ah! Let’s beat them up properly then!]

The outcome of the conflict was a huge upset. It caused many people to drop their spectacles. Those mere 250 turned out to be very fierce and tough. They attacked the 500 Murong Family’s Guards, and beat them to a complete rout. The victims were obviously left to grumble endlessly since they were unspeakably cruel. In fact, over ten of the Murong Guards had been genuinely maimed.

This gave rise to a lot of anger. Numerous influential families accused Jun Mo Xie. And, he retaliated measure-for-measure. It seemed that there would be another bloody conflict soon.

Jun Wu Yi realized that his father’s expectations were utter fantasy; same as his own. Jun Mo Xie was a troublemaker in the army. In fact, he was like a malignant tumor. So, it would be best to remove him as fast as possible. The rotten fish would ruin the entire dish if he were to remain there for long.

[The afternoon has barely passed. Even a day’s time isn’t yet over. Evening time hasn’t even set properly, and the sky still hasn’t darkened. And yet, this youngster has already obtained three punishments. Moreover, this kid is committing all offenses that shouldn’t be committed. He would’ve already been beheaded twice if I were to treat him according to the military’s law.]

Therefore, after another round of beating was ordered as punishment. It was followed by a lengthy and severe reprimanding tirade...

"You and your 250 men will get a special assignment." Jun Wu Yi stated, "You brat, you will get a special assignment to redeem yourself in light of performance. The special order for Jun Mo Xie is that — he will clear the way for the vanguard. He will open paths in mountains, and bridge streams. And, he will be held responsible if the army suffers any damage in this journey because of his negligence!"

Jun Mo Xie felt that he had been granted amnesty when he heard his special punishment. Jun Mo Xie was so delighted that he clasped his hands in the air like a common man who had achieved his life’s dream. He replied in an opera-like dramatic tone. In fact, he got so dramatic that he nearly sung out his acceptance, "I needed... ah... this assignment..."

He then raised his hands like a goose’s wings. Then, he started to circle-around. He flew half a circle. Then, he took a couple of steps as if he was passing over an obstacle. Then, he quickened his pace, and flew out of the tent.

The men in the tent couldn’t help but stare. They couldn’t help but burst out laughing. [Is this the Jun Family’s sole member of the third generation? Is he really the descendant of a military family?]

Commander Jun Wu Yi was a loss. He had no choice but to think of the following two words — Family misfortune.

Jun Mo Xie took his Third Uncle’s gloom into account. [I’ve made a very shitty name for myself in the army’s way of life. I’ve received three severe beating in just half-a-days’ time. Moreover, there was no argument that I could’ve used in my favor to prevent these punishments. It would take about a month to reach Tian Fa. Whether I had lived or died... whether I had lost face or didn’t... one thing was for sure — the Iron Butt would’ve reached miraculous heights.]

[I’ve been given the responsibility to be a trail-opener from this moment onwards. I’m not very proficient at opening roads, or bridging streams. But, any robber we encounter along the way will be dealt with effectively. Not a single shall remain!]

[This is such a great opportunity to train my troops!]

Jun Mo Xie accepted the orders since he feared a change of command from the Commander. Then, he quickly ordered his 250 men to strike camp the same evening. They then disappeared into the darkness like a sharp arrow... just as Commander Jun had ordered. The 250+1 men disappeared without a trace.

Two days later, Commander Jun Wu Yi discovered that it was a brilliant decision to send Jun Mo Xie as a vanguard. In fact, it was an amazing and wise decision that could make for a great legend.

The best way to employ a person’s true talent is to place them in the right position.

The journey became extremely smooth. The army’s march had started to seem like a site-seeing tour. They followed Jun Mo Xie’s vanguard unit. So, there was no need for them to be frightened since there was no danger up ahead. As for the officials along the way — they welcomed the army heartily in fear of the reception not being satisfactory. And, they even came forward and gave some the military some supply materials. There was no case of embezzlement.

Jun Mo Xie initiated a thorough sweep to completely wipe-out the bandits. In fact, he even went 200kms beyond the official route to deal with them. This vanguard unit led by Jun Mo Xie wiped out all the bandits throughout the journey!

The entire journey was bloody; a hundred percent bloody.

The Young Master Jun’s ‘Heaven Destroyer Team’ and ‘Spirit Devourer Team’ had used this bloody journey to accustom themselves to purely bloody conflicts.

These two-hundred-and-fifty men had been killing throughout the journey. Let alone Jun Mo Xie... even Jun Wu Yi could well-imagine the scene of the murderous aura that would be cultivated by the time they’d reach Tian Fa.

[Murderous aura and the bloody-lust are destined to become a part of those two platoon’ souls!]

The passage through the first province was still acceptable to Jun Wu Yi. However, the passage through the second province was different. Jun Wu Yi looked at the Magistrate, and it literally seemed to him as if the man was a war-weary comrade who was about to start complaining about the women in the brothels.

However, the Magistrate looked at Jun Wu Yi with a strange expression in his eyes. It seemed as if he had just gotten to see his ‘mother’ after a long period of separation. No... it should be ‘father’.

His face was full of tears and snot.

The Magistrate sounded a bit off as well. Jun Mo Xie’s buttocks had started to ache from sitting on a saddle by the time he had reached the Magistrate’s province. And thus, this Magistrate’s parade had started...

First, the Young Master Jun wanted a carriage. What’s more... he wanted it to be extremely luxurious. And, he wanted it completed in a days’ time. Further, he wanted the work’s progress-reported every hour. However, the Young Master didn’t stop here. He also displayed the amazingly erudite accounting skills that he had acquired in his previous life. He settled the entirety of the Magistrate’s accounts... accounts which had been compounding over the years.

This full-grown man of a Magistrate trembled in fear. He summoned artisans from near and far. He ordered them to build a carriage with the utmost caution and the harshest of adherence to standards. He ordered them to produce a carriage which offered the most comfortable ride and fast speeds. Thereafter, he was able to present an extremely luxurious carriage to Jun Mo Xie within the stipulated time.

Moreover, the material required to produce this carriage had been purchased with the money this Magistrate had coveted from the province’s treasury over the years. In fact, the cost of production was so extravagant that the Magistrate was forced to borrow money.

The pitiful Magistrate trembled with fear as he came to Jun Mo Xie’s vanguard unit to report the completion of the build. Jun Mo Xie was holding the accounts book at the time. In fact, he was treating it as a fan. He wished to educate that one man in all sincerity.

"I say Fei Zhu Chang..." This person’s name was Fie Zhu Chang! It meant fat pig’s intestines... The Young Master Jun found it hard to deal with this. He couldn’t help clicking his tongue. [It’s a big world, but there’s nothing weirder than this name. This guy’s parents must’ve been on a whole new level!]

"Aren’t you too unprofessional? The so-called Heavenly Emperor had made you a Magistrate five years ago. And, you could only rake-in less than fifty thousand silver taels? This is extremely disappointing. Damn! Being corrupt will do you no good. No wonder... you’re forty years old, and still a mere trash Magistrate! Five years of your greed and corruption has stained this land. Have you gobbled-up that carriage of mine as well? Is that what you’re here to tell me?" Jun Mo Xie shook his head and sighed. It was evident that misfortune and fury was about to befall the man.

"I, yes... the General is right. This Magistrate is very incompetent," the Magistrate replied. He wiped the cold sweat off his face as he trembled in fear. However, he complained in his heart. [My holy ancestors ah! The carriage and its wheels are made from a hundred year old red sandalwood. The interiors are inlaid with four types of pearls. And, I’ve paid for this with my own money. The red sandalwood I could purchase wasn’t enough... So, you tore out my family’s door and my bed’s planks. What else do you want? Why do you still bring-up my acts of corruption? My Family has become poor and wretched, and my butt has been soaked in debt. Yet, you still won’t allow me to live in peace?]